Well, the inevitable has happened... I officially have two grey hairs - not faded out from colouring, not sun-kissed, but actual grey hair! And they are strategically placed that a number of people have found the need to tell me that I do. My response? A polite, "yes, I am aware."But here is the thing. I actually don't care. I imagined that I would mind, but I haven't found it upsetting or traumatizing in any way. And that was actually the biggest surprise of all - that the event passed by without tears or drama - that it was genuinely a non-issue for me. Because I totally thought it would be.
WHY did I think I would be bothered to find grey hair?
(1) I dye my hair. I assumed in recent years that I was doing it in anticipation of grey hair. It turns out it is nothing to do with that and more because of a snooty girl from church camp a decade & a half ago who told me my hair was mousy brown... I've never forgotten that (so, sidebar: remember kids - words can hurt!); but, over time, I realize that Ms. Beautiful Chestnut Brown Hair had her own insecurities - and the 'mousy brown' comment was really compensating for that.
(2) I used to say marks didn't matter,... until I got my first bad grade. Turned out it did matter a little bit, so I had to work through that until I can now return to my original claim, "it isn't about the grade, but about what I have learned."
(3) I was seriously traumatized in anticipation of two milestone birthdays - 25 & 30. Wasn't sure how I would cope on the actual day as I was certain I was nowhere close to that age. Then they happened,... and I can now say age is only a number (marrying someone 7 years my junior to help that thought process along)!?!?
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I've loved my life thus far, but I have no desire to turn back the clock and return to those younger days. I am happy exactly where I am... right now... two grey hairs & all.
Thoughts?
Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteIt is a wonderful thing to live for long enough to acquire grey hair. I've got a couple myself these days (although admittedly, the red masks them well). The hard part — and it's near impossible — is making sense of the people who won't get to have grey hair. I can't say it makes me thankful; I'd trade if I could. Instead, grey hair makes me conscious that I haven't done what I've come here to do yet, and time's ticking: I need to get to it, whatever it is.
A nice meditation, Joyce. Thank you for that.
you crack me up J.
ReplyDeletei too have been described as having mousy hair, and your hair is a thousand times nicer colour than mine... sometimes i feel like our perceived flaws and shortcomings are really a part of who we are. if i can accept stretch marks and small boobs i'm sure i can roll with the grays right along side you.
xo
I found my first two grey hairs a couple months ago, and I'm only 23! But I wasn't too worried about them, I pulled them out and haven't seen any since...
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of greying hair though - related to getting older - I am looking forward to having laugh lines on my face =) People tend to dread the arrival of wrinkles, but to me I think they show wisdom and life. And if I keep smiling enough, those wrinkles will show up in the right places =)
Hey! Mike LOVES finding grey hairs on his head...he is proud of them. I say he has earned every one living with two girls! :)
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