Saturday, June 8, 2013

She's Here!

WoW!  Three months since my girl showed up on the scene.  Josh asks me every second day when I am going to post a new blog, but I have been reluctant to try and tackle this first post since Zoe's arrival.  I mean, HOW can I accurately reflect this new turn in the 'Journey of Joyce'?  Not to mention the fact that the first month to six weeks post-delivery is all a bit hazy.

Zoe; her name means 'life'...

Already I see Zoe could not be more aptly named.  I have always been amazed at the power of naming as far back as that recorded in Biblical times.  And I find this power of naming continues to be true as I learn more about the personality of my daughter - so full of life, so independent already, so stubborn like her *ahem* Dad (okay, okay, like her Mum too).

That sounds so weird - "MY" daughter.  Like she is a possession or something, or as if she belongs to me.  Although I suppose we do believe that to be true since we "gave her back" to God during her dedication ceremony a few weeks ago!  But then comes the understanding that this raising a child business is hard work - not something that can be done alone (at least not well).  Noper, no sirreee bob, no way Jose.  Raising Zoe requires God's guidance, and the support and help of family and friends...  Though I am so very grateful for the support of our two Corps, the struggle of being at a far distance from family and close friends has become even more pronounced now that Zoe has been thrown into the mix.

I struggle to articulate how life has changed since becoming a parent, until I realize;

"there are no words."  

The centre of our little world.
Words fail to describe the intensity of emotion I feel for this little person who grew inside of me and who catapulted into this big bad world in her own time and in her own way.  The girl who is already managing to cause us to do all of those things we said we would never do as parents - e.g. her clothes and her toys are slowly and steadily taking over all of our living space.

Totally cliche, but more notably, she has taken over a pretty big space in my heart as well. I feel fiercely protective of her, like a mama bear guarding her cub.  I feel inexplicable joy when she smiles at me, partially because she makes us work so hard for smiles;).  And I feel overwhelming love as I look at the peaceful version of her while rocking her to sleep.

Nothing profound friends, nothing new or earth shattering from this girl, except to say my daughter is here, and in the words of the Caper that I am:

"I loveS her!"