As I begin to prepare myself for another round of good-byes next week - this time to the many new friends I have made since my arrival here in Gander only 8 short weeks ago, I reflect on the idea of home.
I remember when people used to ask my former officers from Suncoast Citadel where they were from, they would always respond, "Goderich - THIS is our home." People would say, "No, that isn't what we meant... Where are you from originally?" And I now ponder this question and their response as I prepare myself for a lifetime of good-byes, an officership full of new places, different communities and people; I think about the question - Where is my HOME?
My good gal pal sent me a card in the mail the other day of the infamous Dorothy shoes from Wizard of Oz (of which I have a strikingly similar pair). And she sent it because one day when I was talking to her, I was having what I will term 'the crisis of home'... Let me be honest with you (as long as I can be confident we keep it between us, okay?)... Sometimes doing God's will is hard - and I have had the occasional moment since last June when I was accepted into training where I have just wanted to go home. Not really with any expectation of actually going home of course, but there has been a fleeting moment where I daydream about life BC - before 'the call'- happened. So I said to my friend this particular 'crisis of home' day - "I thought about going home today, and I realized, I don't have a home to go to!" Well, this momentary self-pity party made me think about whether that was actually true - was it a physical house, or is it a home (as in the singular) that I am missing?
There is the well-known expression, "Home is where the heart is". Well, if that is true, it is quite difficult for me, because that means my home is in the "Ashley" cottage in the Village of Northwood in Shropshire, England where half of my family is. It also means my home is in Denfield or St. Mary's, Ontario where the rest of my family are. Or in my office where many of my former coworkers and friends still spend many of their waking hours.
I feel at home beside the water at Sunset Beach, or walking on the boardwalk along the Goderich beaches. I have also felt at home running along the boardwalk around Cobb's Pond while here in Gander, or while eating dinner (oops, I mean supper) around the Pinksen table. I felt at home inside the walls of the Booth Centre in Winnipeg where one of the residents would proudly tell me he had been clean for 5 days, but I was also comfortably at home sitting outside on Josh's balcony in Waverley when Nyree would show up to go for an iced capp/chai tea run.
Ok, I think you get the picture since I have totally beaten the point to death!?!? If home is where the heart is, that means we have a lot of homes to maintain....
Add the interesting dynamic of my beloved Sally Ann. Is my home now where ever the Army sends me? Believing, of course, that God uses the Army as a vehicle in which I can minister to people and serve him... Should I be following not the proverbial yellow brick road, but be led along the yellow, red and blue trail of The Salvation Army - wherever it leads??? Does it eventually lead me to the Emerald City? I think of the song that we sang (repeatedly) the night of the Prayer Warriors commissioning:
Lead me Lord, I will follow
Lead me Lord, I will go
You have called me, I will answer
Lead me Lord, I will go.
I think my home is now where ever God leads me - it just so happens that because of the nature of my calling to be an officer in The Salvation Army, that means a lot of different homes in the course of my life here on earth.
In the words of Dorothy and as I tap my sparkly red shoes together saying, "There's no place like home," well, I realize that is a true story... It is just that I realize that home in this life is not a singular: where home is - what home looks like - that is fluid, constantly changing, and certainly not Kansas anymore...
Hey there Joycey...
ReplyDeleteI'd say that's a good take on things, Home Where God Leads (H.W.G.L.S!!!or "hwaggles")... lately I've been taking the Citizen's of Heaven view (or as we like to say over here C.O.H). Where someday we can chill out in our eternal home with J-man, have Him over for a cup of tea, and shoot the breeze with Paul, Peter, Luke and John. Ask Paul, so what did you really mean when you said "that", or let Jesus know, thanks for helping me out "there", really couldn't have done it without ya.
U taker ez now ya hear (utenyh)
Mark
Once again an awesome blog and I almost got teary eyed when you talked about our commissioning. Last year when I was leaving my summer assignment in Saskatoon and saying goodbye for what felt like the millionths time - I told the people there that the good thing about all these goodbyes was that it now means that I have family in lots of places.
ReplyDeleteThere are days when I miss home but like you, on those days I just remind myself that I'm exactly where God wants me to be.
On another note, where are you spending your vacay - I would love to cross paths with you if you're going to be in Ontario!
Took Heather to start the course yesterday. One of her fellow students had flown in from Kenya a few days ago. He had a farming background. God called him to go either to Norway or Great Britain to study for a Masters of Theology. All he had was three cows, so he sold the cows. The Church took a collection, and he responded to the call. He started speaking with fire about Samuel, Samuel got a call, and Samuel answered. He won't see his wife in Kenya for two years. Sometimes home has to be the place where God has called you to be.
ReplyDelete