Gander, NL - "There's No Place Like Home"

As I begin to prepare myself for another round of good-byes next week - this time to the many new friends I have made since my arrival here in Gander only 8 short weeks ago, I reflect on the idea of home.

I remember when people used to ask my former officers from Suncoast Citadel where they were from, they would always respond, "Goderich - THIS is our home." People would say, "No, that isn't what we meant... Where are you from originally?" And I now ponder this question and their response as I prepare myself for a lifetime of good-byes, an officership full of new places, different communities and people; I think about the question - Where is my HOME?

My good gal pal sent me a card in the mail the other day of the infamous Dorothy shoes from Wizard of Oz (of which I have a strikingly similar pair). And she sent it because one day when I was talking to her, I was having what I will term 'the crisis of home'... Let me be honest with you (as long as I can be confident we keep it between us, okay?)... Sometimes doing God's will is hard - and I have had the occasional moment since last June when I was accepted into training where I have just wanted to go home. Not really with any expectation of actually going home of course, but there has been a fleeting moment where I daydream about life BC - before 'the call'- happened. So I said to my friend this particular 'crisis of home' day - "I thought about going home today, and I realized, I don't have a home to go to!" Well, this momentary self-pity party made me think about whether that was actually true - was it a physical house, or is it a home (as in the singular) that I am missing?

There is the well-known expression, "Home is where the heart is". Well, if that is true, it is quite difficult for me, because that means my home is in the "Ashley" cottage in the Village of Northwood in Shropshire, England where half of my family is. It also means my home is in Denfield or St. Mary's, Ontario where the rest of my family are. Or in my office where many of my former coworkers and friends still spend many of their waking hours.

I feel at home beside the water at Sunset Beach, or walking on the boardwalk along the Goderich beaches. I have also felt at home running along the boardwalk around Cobb's Pond while here in Gander, or while eating dinner (oops, I mean supper) around the Pinksen table. I felt at home inside the walls of the Booth Centre in Winnipeg where one of the residents would proudly tell me he had been clean for 5 days, but I was also comfortably at home sitting outside on Josh's balcony in Waverley when Nyree would show up to go for an iced capp/chai tea run.

Ok, I think you get the picture since I have totally beaten the point to death!?!? If home is where the heart is, that means we have a lot of homes to maintain....

Add the interesting dynamic of my beloved Sally Ann. Is my home now where ever the Army sends me? Believing, of course, that God uses the Army as a vehicle in which I can minister to people and serve him... Should I be following not the proverbial yellow brick road, but be led along the yellow, red and blue trail of The Salvation Army - wherever it leads??? Does it eventually lead me to the Emerald City? I think of the song that we sang (repeatedly) the night of the Prayer Warriors commissioning:

Lead me Lord, I will follow

Lead me Lord, I will go

You have called me, I will answer

Lead me Lord, I will go.

I think my home is now where ever God leads me - it just so happens that because of the nature of my calling to be an officer in The Salvation Army, that means a lot of different homes in the course of my life here on earth.

In the words of Dorothy and as I tap my sparkly red shoes together saying, "There's no place like home," well, I realize that is a true story... It is just that I realize that home in this life is not a singular: where home is - what home looks like - that is fluid, constantly changing, and certainly not Kansas anymore...

Gander, NL - acting C.O.

Well, it was scary when someone walked into the office and made some crack about me being the officer in command... What? But after contemplating that comment for a surprisingly long period of time, I realized it was sort of a true story. I *am* the 'acting' corps officer for Gander while the 'actual' corps officers are away. It was just the title threw me a little - you see - the lowly cadet role has been quite comfortable. The bottom of the totem pole is a safe place,.... because from there, the fall is not far at all.

I remember 'back in the day' I went overnight from being a student planner to a planner, where reports were no longer cosigned and where the buck stopped with me rather than just being a stop along the way. That realization felt similar to what I imagined being hit by a Mack truck would feel like. I recall thinking, "AHHHH!!! I am no different from yesterday, I certainly don't know anything more"- but there I was: along with the benefit of my salary increasing, came a not so positive exponential increase in my anxiety!?!?! For a long time afterward, I wondered whether the additional wage was worth the stress. To clarify,... it didn't remain quite as stressful and thus: worth it.

Sidebar: I loved my job. I was - and likely still am - a planning nerd!

Thankfully, my transition into ACO (acting corps officer) was nothing like as painful. WHY? 3 reasons come to mind immediately...

(1) this is only for a short period of time, and so I know unless I really pull a doozy, there will still be a church standing on the officers return. Not to mention the fact that my officers prepared me well for their leaving and that they are only a Blackberry message away;).

(2) obviously - and most importantly - I have the BG on my side. (For those who don't know the Wilson lingo - B.G. stands for 'big guy', aka God. Sidebar 2: sometimes we use BGU - 'big guy upstairs - to avoid confusion since we also call Dad and my brothers BG).

(3) very closely linked to #2, the BGU makes sure we are well taken care of and he does that through his people. God has surrounded me by some amazing people during my stay here in Gander.

Case in point:

I have enjoyed and am experiencing what I

consider to be the greatest gift of Newfoundland - and that is the hospitality of the people. Since I have been on my own, it seems to be the worry and concern of the entire corps that I not be alone in the evenings and - in particular - that I eat. (Like that has EVER been an issue for me, lol;). The word 'leftovers' has become like music to my ears - and not only do I get to enjoy a delicious meal and good company, I often get to take home a doggy bag...

dream come true really:).

Sidebar 3: I am totally at home here with portion size. Most of the time on the 'mainland' I am considered to be a big eater - but not here. Here, I don't stand out at all... And the greatest thing is, the more you eat, the more they like you. I am really working on having people like me *a lot* and I am grateful the tailor gave me room to *spread* in my uniform!!!

Anyway, yesterday I was "feelin' the love". I just felt like these are my peeps, you know? It is amazing how quickly you can begin to feel part of a community - and I did. I do. I love visiting people, I love getting to hear people's stories, I love learning about our 'cultural differences' and the differences between our dialects, I adore being taught Newfoundland expressions, and most of all I appreciate the way that I have seen glimpses of God through my interactions with his people. In the words of Becca Allen, it is "cool beans".